Pierogi, portraits, funk parties and more weekend events

Photo credit: Aaron Hadley Dana / aarondana.com

While you’re worrying about what to do this weekend, remember that a wise man once said “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” That wise man? Actually, it was a guy I went to high school with who came up with it for his yearbook quote. Good stuff. Anyways, here’s hoping some cool life stuff happens all over you while you’re reading about this weekend’s events.

* What makes Extreme Croquet on the Greenway so extreme? Teams of four will play with massive bouncy balls and five-foot-tall wickets, and also everything is caked in more than the usual amount of orange flavor dust. Unfortunately, what extreme croquet has in common with regular old croquet is it’s also a game played almost exclusively by rich people — the registration fee is $500 per team, with proceeds benefiting future programming on the Greenway. But hey, you can still come and watch while drinking Mountain Dew: Bloody Stool or whatever they call this year’s exxxtreme red flavor. 8.7. 4:30p. $500/team to play

* The Chinese have dumplings. The Italians, ravioli. But the Eastern European version of dough stuffed with other foodstuffs might be the most delicious of all — pierogi. Come “stuff” yourself at Cuisine en Locale’s Pierogi Night, featuring pierogi filled with pork, cheese, or mushrooms, plus dill pickle soup, and if dill pickle soup is just pickles in a broth of pickle juice like you would find in a jar of pickles, then I just discovered my new favorite soup. Music will be provided by the gypsy punks of the Somerville Symphony Orkestar, New York City’s Karikatura, and the Cocek! Brass Band. 8.7. 6p. $10 

* Do you feel like funkin’ it up? Sure you do! But do you feel like waiting in line and packing your sweaty body into ZuZu in Central Square for their weekly Soulelujah night, especially now that you can’t even eat drunk pizza at Hi-Fi, they’re putting a Clover in that space as if anyone’s ever had a drunken craving for a fucking chickpea fritter? Luckily the mayor’s office is teaming up with Soulelujah organizers and DJs for The Funk Summit Dance Party at City Hall Plaza. It’s free funky fun for all ages, but it doesn’t mean we’re forgiving Mayor Walsh for naming yesterday Godsmack Day. 8.8. 6p. FREE

* What do Mr T., Meryl Streep, Beyonce, and Jeff Goldblum have in common? I mean, yeah,  they’ve all made appearances in my sexual fantasies. But also: Graphic artist and illustrator Aaron Dana drew all of them after he was bored last year and asked Twitter for portrait suggestions, then stuck himself with a 20-minute time limit for each of the ink and pencil drawings. The project grew into Twenty Minutes or Less, a collection of 250 portraits on display at Voltage Coffee & Art in Kendall Square. See them at Friday’s opening reception, which will be followed by an after party at Area Four. 8.8. 7p. FREE

* The Massachusetts Independent Film Festival moves to Harvard Square’s Brattle Theatre for screenings on Friday and Saturday night. This year’s entries include a documentary about Shaker furniture, a supernatural horror-comedy about a Reaper seeking love in the mortal realm, and a short film about a violinist and a sandwich. Speaking of sandwiches — delicious beef sandwiches, that is — the festival after party and awards ceremony goes down Saturday night at Tasty Burger. 8.8 and 8.9. Various times. $10/screening

* You don’t need to compete on “Naked and Afraid” to know that food and fire are essential to our survival, even more essential than clothing, at least if you don’t mind people paying very close attention to the size of the blur necessary to censor your junk. Somerville’s Union Square celebrates its status as a foodie mecca with Ignite! A Fire and Street Food Festival After Dark, featuring offerings ranging from Bronwyn’s German sausages and pretzels to Union Square Donuts, plus fire throwing demonstrations by the Boston Circus Guild and, why not, an eight-foot-tall tiger head. 8.9. 6p. FREE

* Boston Comic Con arrives at the Seaport this weekend with a film festival, artist panels, gaming contests and even the chance to tell the guy who played Khal Drogo on “Game of Thrones” that he is your sun and stars (in Dothraki of course, or you’ll lose your geek cred). If you’re really just into this stuff to meet hot geek girls, skip the conference and head to the unofficial after party at Davis Square Theater, where New York-based burlesque troupe Wassabasco presents Secret Identitease, promising “the sexiest display of nerdery you’ve ever seen.” I don’t know, I once saw a stripper multiply $25 times six without a calculator. 8.9. 9p. $20

* Whether or not you’re Jewish or like Jewish food, “schmear” is just a really fun word to say. A lot more women would look forward to getting “pap schmears” if that’s how it was pronounced. Kitchen Kibitz teams up with Hungry Mother chef Barry Maiden for Southern Schmear, a four-course brunch-style feast celebrating modern Jewish cuisine and imaginative cooking. Maiden’s Kendall Square restaurant and bar State Park hosts the event, with two seatings so the early risers and hungover people can eat separately. 8.10. 10:30a and 1:30p. $45

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