Chili-eating contests, parties for runners, and more events this week

(Photo credit: @brianmcw on Instagram)

Miley Cyrus brings her Bangerz Tour to the Garden on Wednesday, and I thought about recommending it as kind of an April Fools (sorry, Foolz) joke. But you’re smarter than that, right? Go out and see some theatre, or learn something about art and science, instead of watching Miley twerk on a replica of the Bunker Hill Monument while wearing a bikini constructed from Mike Napoli’s beard.

* Brewery Ommegang celebrates the release of Fire & Blood Red Ale, its newest “Game of Thrones”-themed beer, at Somerville’s East End Grille. You can also try last year’s Take The Black Stout, but remember: When you play the game of beers, you win or you puke. There is no middle ground. There’s a weird ab-crunching machine at my gym with a chair about four feet off the ground, and sometimes I just sit in it and pretend it’s the Iron Throne. 3.31. 7 p.m. FREE

* As part of its national Science on Screen event, Coolidge Corner Theatre pairs Kubrick’s anti-war film “Paths of Glory” with a presentation from the series’ inaugural guest, Harvard experimental psychologist Steven Pinker. 3.31. 7 p.m. $10

* In the hypothetical March Madness bracket of local art museums, the Rose at Brandeis would be a sleeper like Dayton. Curator Katy Siegel is giving two free talks at the Waltham museum this week, Tuesday by herself and Wednesday with Rose Projects featured artist Charlene von Heyl. When the ICA did a von Heyl show two years ago, I had a “moment” with one of her abstract paintings. Then one of the museum staff told me it was her favorite too, and for one second I felt like I knew about art. 4.1 at 6 p.m/4.2 at 5 p.m, FREE

* “The Book of Mormon” — Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s musical for people who hate musicals (like me) — returns for a second run at the Opera House. If you hate people, you could wait a couple years for the film version that’s in the works, and could eventually snag Parker and Stone the final piece in their EGOT quest (they’d already have it except the song from the South Park movie lost the Oscar to Phil Collins of all people.) 4.1. 7:30 p.m., $40+

* Are you the “crazy one” in your group of friends? You’ll try anything! You don’t care about embarrassing yourself! You’re perpetually single! Then El Pelón Taqueria’s Fiery Fifteen Hot Chili Eating Contest is right up your alley. Stop by the Fenway or Brighton locations on Wednesday, give them $15, and try to eat 15 habanero peppers in 15 minutes. If you can do it, you’ll earn a spot in the May 7 finals, with a year’s worth of free burritos at stake. Costumes are encouraged, and it’s free for spectators, so bring friends to cheer you on. 4.2. 8 p.m. $15

* Royale’s Taper Madness party for “runners and the people who tolerate them” rewards the Marathon runners who just did their last long training run and get to take it easy for three weeks before the big race, at least in their world where running six miles counts as taking it easy. I stay away from running because, as we all know, the anabolic reaction occasioned by lifting heavy weights is inhibited by the catabolic response to extended cardio. Also running is hard. 4.3. 7 p.m. $20

* The Boston Teen Acting Troupe’s “Dream of the Burning Boy” follows a high school English teacher who, ever since the death of his favorite student, has been falling asleep at his desk and dreaming. I can relate because the other night I dreamt I saw the most incredible, awe-inspiring rainbow, but when I tried to tweet a picture (hashtag #BOSrainbow) it wouldn’t go through and I realized, this is my nightmare. 4.3. 7:30 p.m., $15-25

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